Why are you so offensive?
I don't know, why are you so lame?
Allow me to explain before you call HR…of the company I own.
Here we go: I speak like real people speak all the time, everyday, everywhere, all over America.
White people, back people, brown people - all of us.
However, discourse is policed by prudish mid-wits and the internet is full of man-teet hall monitors on high alert for naughty talk.
“OMG! He put a sombrero on a ghost for Cinco de Mayo! That is cultural appropriation!”
lol, ok, Bradley. Calm down.
In order for something to be truly offensive the speaker must mean offense.
I rarely do.
Even then, you shouldn’t care because:
it literally doesn’t matter
being offended is for nerds
I am a white dude with a white wife and adopted black kids. Do you know how much weird $%^# I’ve heard over the past 16 years?
“Were they all out of white kids?”
“Do they know you aren’t their real parents?”
“How black is your wife?”
“Buying a baby doesn’t mean you aren’t a racist.”
I have never once been offended because:
I am an adult
I don’t assume the worst about people
the opinions of others have little-to-no impact on my life
If you feel offended - stop.
It’s weak and sad.
Grow a pair (or whatever the equivalent is for females) and move on with your life.
I’m not offensive. I’m hilarious and basically normal.
If you think I am offensive please evaluate your mental fortitude and check your privilege.
If that doesn’t work remember my disclaimer - any offensive comments are made while identifying as a member of the offended group. Boom - problem solved.
That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.
Have a great day,
PS, subscribe below or face HR for racial discrimination tomorrow.
Yes, there is a free option.